So You Think You Can Hustle
Think the Days of the Hustle are Over?
You have seen every episode of Hustle and now you want to make a killing like Mickey, Danny, and Emma. Maybe you’re planning to rob a bank with nothing but a toothpick and a smile, or talk your way into getting your hands on a Van Gogh. Before you and your crew start planning your vacation in the Bahamas, however, you should read this advice and make sure you’re playing the hustle game right. After all, it only takes one multi-million dollar job gone awry to land you in the slammer instead of the cabana.
Everyone Is A Target of the Hustle
When you are walking down the street, are you sizing every possible person you see as a possible target? If you aren’t, then you aren’t thinking like a true hustler. Not everybody has something to offer you, but not every single person has a shirt that says ‘I Collect Fine Art’ on their chest. Always be looking for the next hustle, because as PT Barnum famously said, ‘There’s one born every minute.’
Know The Hustle Lingo
You have figured out the best way to hustle some poor sap out of a dozen paintings that you are going to be able to turn around for for big numbers. Do you know the difference between Monet and Manet? If the answer is no, then don’t act like an art critic. Any specialized hustle is going to need specialized knowledge. Just because you are an oratory artist with a natural gift of gab doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do a little research.
In Your Hustle, Have A Way Out
A hustle game is only as good as the rules. The best hustle may not be foolproof, but the exit strategy should be. Even if the pull out factor includes popular phrases like ‘run like hell’ or ‘move to Alaska’, at least you gave it some thought. Needless to say, having a stash of fake passports, a plane ticket to another continent and some good connections in key places all across the world is always a plus.
Don’t Grift Where You Eat
You may not realize that every day you run into the supermarket and pass by a very nice old couple. They probably don’t notice you either. It is a guarantee that they will remember your face after you’ve tried to heist their pensions, though. Not only that, but it’s a sure bet that they will spread the word to friends, associates, family members and the like. Facebook and Twitter are great for spreading good and bad news, so make sure your hustle stays far away from these resources if it’s less than noteworthy. Who really wants to end up on TMZ opposite yet another story on a heist gone wrong (cue Lindsey Lohan).
Make sure your marks are far from where you live, in places that you don’t even want to consider visiting again afterward. You will never eliminate the possibility of running into the poor sap you took down for six figures, but as in all things, you should at least lower the probability.
Be Greedy, But Not Too Greedy
When you hustle, you always have to have the hunger for more. This is what drives and motivates you to go after the ultimate capers. When in doubt, take a cue from the Oceans 11 gang. They knew when to strike and when to lay low, but they always kept an eye out for bigger and better hustles.
In the end, a successful hustle — like a team — is the sum of its parts. You have just figured out a way to play well with others, but you shouldn’t keep more than you deserve. Everybody gets their share with no exceptions.
You got the talent and the tools. It’s time to get down to the hustle. (Just watch out for those pesky FBI guys. I hear they don’t like it when you con people out of millions.)
Miles Walker is a freelance writer and blogger who usually compare car insurance deals over at CarinsuranceComparison.Org. He knows how to hustle, and his most recent review looked at the best car insurance quotes.
